And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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