there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
