She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
me + whiskey = a bad person
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
