chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
