Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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