Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
