I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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