i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
