Sry I called you an 8
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
