You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
