i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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