does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
