Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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