Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
