HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
