It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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