i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
