Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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