What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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