Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
