my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
