College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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