Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
