she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
