I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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