so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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