you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Oh god it's open bar.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
