So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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