So drunk its hurt
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
