when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
