is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize