i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
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