The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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