well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
