used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He passed out mid-signature
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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