My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He better not be in your backpack
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You left your phone here
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