Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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