he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
