i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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