And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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