I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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