I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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