I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
