the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize