This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
