Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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