Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
