In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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