at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
