hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
