His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
