oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
