it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
