one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
