If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
