he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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