Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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