he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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