make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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